I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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