yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize