Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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