this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
