The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize