I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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