i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
