So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize