On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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