weddingsv make me drug and hornr
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
