Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
