This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
