i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
