Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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