She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize