sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
