never play flip cup with pint glasses
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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