WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
