I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
