Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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