what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
