Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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