I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I think i got beer on your cat.
why is half of my head shaved?
Come on in and take your pants off
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