i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he was CRYING into my vagina
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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