i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
