But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
