Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
