Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
