Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My liver just broke up with me...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
