I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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