When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
