whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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