I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm like, not good at living.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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