I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
two words: eviction party
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
