Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize