So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
