I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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