ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
