Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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