Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
