Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Randomize
