Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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