Can Purell be used as lube?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
