Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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