I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
