Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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