beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Im part way to drunk.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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