I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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