I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
