the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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