I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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