Small penises have feelings too.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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