the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
