I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Your dad touched me again.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
