we have officially lost it.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i out mim tonsoeep
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