Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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