Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
