I would go down on you faster than GM stock
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
