More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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