I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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