I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
