It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
