If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
