Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
