remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
